Artist Remarks for "Order Out of Chaos"
Thank you
to the Basilica and its parishioners for the opportunity to exhibit and share
the work. To Johann and Kathy for all of the thoughtfulness that went
into the installation and reception. To my family and friends who are such a
blessing to me and give me the encouragement and support to keep on creating.
And of course thank you Craig, for straightening both my scarf and my head when
they get a little askew. If it weren’t for your love, support and attention to
detail this wouldn’t be possible….and my mittens would have been lost long ago.
When Kathy
called me a year ago asking for an exhibit title, I had just begun describing
my process as beginning with “chaos on the canvas”. So, “Order Out of Chaos” seemed
an appropriate title. You see, whether I start with a blank canvas or choose to
paint over an existing painting (which is my preference), I never start with a
plan. I just add layers and layers of paint, line, and form turning the canvas
and letting the paint drip and pushing the colors to separate. I listen to
music and podcasts. I keep index cards on my easel and write lyrics, thoughts
and words as they surface in my mind. It’s a joyful experience making chaos so
sometimes I have to stop and dance around the studio a time or two. At some point
I begin to see things in the chaos…a face, a boat, a creature I’ve never seen
before. I begin to bring order by lifting that image to the surface and
simplifying areas of the painting. There comes a point where the story of the
painting can be found on the index cards and the title is there as well.
As I began
work on new pieces to be included in this exhibit, I found myself pondering the
word chaos and its many forms in our world. In the Old Testament, chaos is
represented by the sea. In creating the earth, God brought order to the chaos.
Today, with
pollution, climate change and over fishing, we have brought chaos to the sea
and the creatures that live in and near it, including ourselves.
Some chaos
in this world is overwhelming to us like natural disasters and war. In the face
of such things all we can do is offer prayer. This is what I’ve done with the
painting Leviathan in Chaos. It is my urgent and visual prayer to God
that he will help us to love and care for the oceans. At the same time, it is a
prayer of gratitude for the amazing creatures he made to frolic in the sea.
While chaos
can be overwhelming often we can make a difference through action. Last summer
I saw something that lead to the painting, Witnessing the Bride. I
arrived here at the Basilica and was parked on the west side of the building. I
was early so I decided to sit for a few minutes and enjoy the day. A homeless
person came down the street, turned up the walkway and headed up to the Rectory
office door. My view of the door was partially obscured by a pillar, but I
could see the door open and a small hand reach out with a gleaming, silver
tray. On the tray was a bottle of water and a sandwich in a Ziploc bag. The
homeless person chatted with the tray holder for a few moments, took the food
offering and continued on down the street.
For me,
homelessness and the many things that lead to it, are chaos in our world. What
I saw was the bride of Christ, the church, serving in love and bringing order
to one person’s chaos through food and drink. I am told that this scenario
plays itself out multiple times a day at that door.
In a sermon
podcast, I heard a powerful story by a local pastor who was raised in a
chaotic, abusive home by a stepmother who had a mental illness. As an adult, he
had forgiven his stepmother but at times, still struggled the after effects of
his difficult childhood.
During
prayer about this, he received a healing image from God. He was a child again
and Jesus was with him caring for his injury. Then he saw himself as an adult
in a field with Jesus. There were rabbits hopping around the field. You see, as
a child, he had a fascination with death and would stare at things like dead
rabbits. This gave him a sense of power, like he knew a secret no one else
knew, we all die. In the vision, Jesus referred to the rabbits saying, “These
are my beloved.” Then Jesus looked into the man’s eyes and said, “You are my
beloved”.
As I have said, I do not plan my
paintings. They rise from the chaos on the canvas of their own accord. I was
strongly impacted by this story and rabbits started leaping from the chaos. I
tried shooing them out of the studio by painting them on small canvases but
they kept multiplying like…well...rabbits.
That's when I realized
that sometimes chaos comes in the form of unwelcome, comical rabbits on your
canvas as you are trying to create serious paintings for an exhibit at the
Basilica.
So I took
to arguing with God about this, on my index cards and out loud!
“Come on God! You can’t be serious!
Enough with the rabbits already!
Then I
heard and felt one of the clearest words from God I have ever received. It was
calm and loving but firm. “Don’t judge. Do the work.”
And so, where there are rabbits (3 ptgs
here and more in the studio), the rabbits represent the beloved. At times they
are us, God’s beloved children. At other times the rabbit is THE Beloved, God’s
son. Such is the case in Receive the Blessing, the largest rabbit is
Jesus with a big ole rabbit foot firmly planted in our messy, chaotic world.
Are the
rabbits important? I have to say yes. I posted the first of the rabbit
paintings, The Birth of Spring, on Facebook. I immediately heard from a
dear friend who is going through a time of terrible chaos that is affecting her
entire family. The situation is extreme in its circumstances and she is
understandably overwhelmed and depressed. She said, “This painting makes me
happy! It makes me feel good! It’s warm, like a hug. “ On that day, the rabbits
were important to both of us.
Yes,
there’s a lot of chaos in our world but we can never under estimate our ability
to bring order, even if it’s just for a moment.
We can
donate to or volunteer with a cause that touches our heart.
We can say
a prayer for the Syrian refugees.
We can hand
a granola bar out the car window to God’s beloved with a sign on the corner.
Every act,
large or small, brings order out of chaos through love.
